A Grief Observed 1961 (Faber and Faber) journals CS Lewis harrowing journey through grief. The death of his wife left him disgusted with platitudes in sympathy cards he called “pitiable cant”, cant is a synonym for blather or drivel. When he tries to pray for his wife,

“bewilderment and amazement come over me. I have a ghastly sense of unreality, of speaking into a vacuum about a nonentity… Apparently the faith—I thought it faith—which enables me to pray for the dead has seemed strong only because I have never really cared, not desperately, whether they existed or not.”

Jessica Mesman is a widely published writer whose work has been noted in Best American Essays, writes: “The rubber has met the road, and he (CS Lewis) has found that all the theology in his world cannot fix a blown out tire.” (Source: https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2019/04/24). 

It is so human to feel viciously angry at God when touched by grief. Yet when we learn from loss, we may come to learn that the dead are our closest neighbours who are still with us, although in a different way that what we are used to. Wisdom comes from journeying deeper into grief, if we are not embittered by our loss. Whether we believe in God or not, God is always present to us,  helping us to listen and learn from our fear, our sadness, our dread, our loss and loneliness.

By Desiree Snyman