Doubting Thomas by Chris Lockley Easter 2 12th April
I’d like us to look at two images of the same subject but captured with very different techniques.
This plant is growing in our garden. I took the first photo a few days ago with my close up, macro lens. This is only a tiny part of the leaf. Using a tripod to steady the camera I was able to get within about 4 inches. Without a tripod there would have been a fair bit of camera shake, which is exacerbated in close up work. I love this image’s sharpness and detail, the clear shapes and colours.
The second photo – of the same plant – is blurry ... intentionally so. I used a technique called Intentional Camera Movement, where the camera is set to a long-ish shutter speed and is moved during the exposure. It can create all kinds of special effects depending on the movements and length of exposure. On this occasion I used a special app on my phone’s camera which, when you move the camera around, can make static images look painterly. Sometimes it looks like an impressionist painting with sweeps of paint across the image. Sometimes its so abstract you’re not quite sure what you’re looking at. But the blur is intentional – as opposed to those times we take a photo and its unintentionally blurry.
It occurred to me as I thought about these two images that they reflected two different experiences as we seek to follow in the way of Jesus.
There are times in our discipleship when things are clear and distinct. Our understanding of faith makes sense, and we are confident about what we believe.
Then there are other times when our faith is a bit blurry – more uncertain. We have doubts and questions – sometimes through intentionally examining our beliefs, sometimes because life throws things at us and challenges our understanding.
Three questions arise for me:
• In which of those times do we find it easier to follow Jesus.
The clear, certain times; or the blurry, uncertain times?
• In which of those times is our faith stronger? When everything is clear and sharp; or when we’re clouded by doubts and questions?
• And in which of those times do we learn and grow more?
The answers may not be what we have been led to believe.
The church has often had difficulty dealing with people’s doubts, questions and challenges. Or perhaps more accurately, people have had difficulty in the way the church has dealt with their doubts, questions and challenges.
Some years back a friend had a long period of recovery in hospital.
A few women from a local church visited her regularly and befriended her. When she was discharged, she started going to a study group with them and attending services. All went well until my friend started asking awkward questions. The leaders found it difficult to answer her questions, and the other members found them disconcerting. Before long one of the leaders suggested she stop asking her questions because they were making people uneasy … and if she didn’t, she should leave.
Chatting with her about her now former church, we talked about the importance of being able to question one’s beliefs and faith. That not expressing our doubts and questions is not only dishonest, it actually impedes our spiritual growth.
Which brings us to the story of Truthful Thomas … yes, I know he’s usually called doubting Thomas, but that unfair label preconditions our thinking about the story. It’s too tempting to stop at the label, “doubting”, without examining the story itself.
When we look at the broad sweep of the resurrection stories, in the other three gospels as well as John, we find that all of the disciples doubted reports of Jesus’ resurrection. When the women came back on Easter morning with reports of seeing the risen Jesus, the men didn’t believe them. They had to run to the empty tomb to see for themselves. And they didn’t believe until they had also seen the risen Christ. In fact, there is a reference in Matthew 28:17 where the resurrected Jesus appeared to the eleven – they worshipped him … but some doubted. They doubted even though they were in the presence of the resurrected Jesus! Seeing is not always believing!
So, there was nothing unusual about Thomas. The evidence even suggests Thomas was less fearful than the other disciples. While they were locked in the room out of fear, Thomas was out wandering around town. Maybe he’d gone out for a falafel kebab. We don’t know the reason for his absence. Only that the others were too scared to be out in public. And that they required the exact same proof to believe as Thomas did. They didn’t believe the women’s testimony. They had to see for themselves.
Thomas was simply honest and truthful. Jesus didn’t condemn him.
And notably, the rest of the disciples didn’t reject him. There was still a place for Thomas in their company even when he doubted their witness. Which is just as well, because in the narrative, Thomas represents those who have not seen the risen One. Thomas is US.
Yet, the “doubting” label remains. Thomas is a convenient scapegoat – someone to blame for a lack of faith. As early as the 4th century theologians wrote that Thomas “is held to blame” for his unbelief. Artwork through the centuries has backed that up.
The message has been clear. Doubting is wrong. Questioning isn’t welcomed as curiosity. It’s framed as moral failure – or worse. It’s sinful. Disobedient. Which is very convenient if you’re in the business of thought control, as the church often has been – and still is in many places today.
Doubt is interpreted as “rebellion.” Disagreement becomes “pride.” Asking “why” is recast as a character flaw rather than an honest search for understanding.
The not-so-subtle message is: good people don’t question; faithful people don’t doubt; and loyal people don’t challenge authority. Those messages often become internalised, so we interpret the discomfort that accompanies doubt as proof that something is wrong with us.
My own observation – whether or not you consider it wisdom is up to you – is that authentic, adult faith can not only survive honest questions, but also grow through them. And as a church we can provide a supportive, non-judgemental atmosphere.
We’ve all heard the idea that we learn from experience. But do we? Sometimes we don’t. It’s not automatic, and we can easily repeat our mistakes.
Grass roots educator Myles Horton – a highly influential figure in the background of the American civil rights movement – once said that we only learn from experience we learn from. Think about that seemingly obvious statement. We have to choose whether we want to learn from experience. The same is true when it comes to doubt. We can choose to grow through our doubts and questions – or we can avoid them.
There’s been research which indicates that if we honour our doubts, there’s a recognisable ‘cycle’ that will take us through them and bring us out the other side – although the “other side” may look very different from where we started.
If we face them head on, explore what they’re saying, and search for alternate understandings, it can shape new and deeper ways of practising our faith.
But, if we resist our doubts, if we pretend we don’t have them, we get stuck. We never move beyond them. They’re still there, below the surface. We may show a confident face to the world, but it’s like being locked in an upper room of fear. Our faith doesn’t progress.
The way forward is through embracing our doubts and questions and working through them.
What does this say about our journey of faith? That we have never arrived. That we should never look down on others whose faith seems shaky. That it’s healthy to allow space in our church to ask questions. That we all need a safe space when doubts arise, so we can talk about them, be heard, supported and not judged.
In my last church before retirement, I commenced a Q&A time at the end of my sermons. It soon became obvious that I didn’t have all the A’s to the Q’s. But we still had opportunity to ask questions and discuss what I said. Share alternative ideas. Even disagree. One positive outcome as the Q&A got longer was that it led to shorter sermons. We won’t have one now … but I do invite you to question me about anything I’ve said over coffee.
Author George Saunders wrote: “In a world full of people who seem to know everything, passionately, based on little (often slanted) information, where certainty is often mistaken for power... what a relief it is to be in the company of someone confident enough to stay unsure (that is, perpetually curious).”
May we be confident enough to be unsure … like Thomas and the other disciples. May we feel safe enough to talk about our uncertainties and work through them. May we feel secure enough in ourselves to help people feel safe with their doubts. And may we all be perpetually curious about following the way of Jesus.